Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Putin jokes

Joke #1: President of Israel calls up Putin and says: “Vladimir Vladimirovich, I didn't know you were a Jew!” Putin says, “I didn't either; what makes you think I am a Jew?” President of Israel says: “You got Americans to pay you $5 billion to take over Crimea. You must be a Jew!”

Joke #2: Putin is watching TV. Calls up his Chief of Intelligence: “Give Tyagnibok a medal for banning the use of Russian in Ukraine. What do you mean he isn't one of ours? Ok, give Yarosh a medal for the idea of blowing up Ukrainian gas transit lines. What do you mean, that's his own doing? How about that cretin Lyashko? How about those cretins from Svoboda—Miroshnichenko and others? So, DO WE HAVE ANY AGENTS ON THE GROUND IN UKRAINE AT ALL?! Where the hell are they? What the hell do you mean they bought a dump-truck of pop-corn and a tanker truck beer and are watching it like a movie?!!!” Hangs up in disgust. Calls again: “How could you let Muzychko get killed?”

Muzychko, killed in a shootout with Ukrainian police

7 comments:

Etyere Petyere said...

These are such insider jokes nobody in north america understands them

Ale y Javi said...

"The confrontation between the government and the Right Sector received an unexpected twist on Thursday, when an alleged phone conversation between two officers of the Sokol (Falcon) special service unit was leaked on YouTube. The people were discussing a special operation similar to the one with Muzychko being prepared against Yarosh on the order of Ukrainian Security Service head Valentin Nalivaychenko. The authenticity of the tape remains under question."

Seems the SVR just saved Yarosh's behind. LOL.

Paul said...

I think the point of the joke is that, with these far-right, anti-Russian, Ukrainian nut-jobs, Russia doesn't need any 'agents provocateurs'. It's just a shame they killed the nutter who was leading them.

The Russian operatives there can sit back and watch the telly or whatever.

nayla lestari said...


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Lisa V said...

Russians thank US diplomats for Crimea:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi1HKJei8Q4&feature=player_embedded

brian said...

The second joke means that russia needs do nothing: sit back and eatch Ukraine implode

old european said...

"Negotiating with Obama is like playing chess with a pigeon. The pigeon knocks over all the pieces, shits on the board and then struts around like it won the game."
-Vladimir Putin -- (Accurately descriptive, but cannot be attributed to Putin)